Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
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