Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
