so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
