My balls are so social today.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize