it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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