They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just pee around me
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
