why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
