Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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