I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
