It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
