I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
