Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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