SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
