i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
