I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
