I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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