Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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