apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
