Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
