My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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