I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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