With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
