there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
