my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
