i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
