Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
