But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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