Taylor Swift is so right about you.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
