After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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