i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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