I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
