Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize