Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
