Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Randomize
