I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
