my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
