I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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