if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
