We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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