There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
