The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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