Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
