I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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