I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
