Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
soo... how was my night?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
