Me. At least after what I've been through.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
