return my video game
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
