I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
