you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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