Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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