suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize