At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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