is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize