I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The struggles of a small town man whore
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