I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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