Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
