Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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