Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
