What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
