Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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