You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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