I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm gonna fight the coyote
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
