Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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