I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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