I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
