Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
