yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize