WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
