So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
