HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
