just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
