would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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