Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Is it penis luge time yet?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
