a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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