Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
