walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
