We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
i've created a new STD.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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