that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
