I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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