I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
