I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
