u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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